Second Chances
by coffeecoffeecoffee83
Summary: A twist of "Merry Fisticuffs", when Chris walks out on the wedding planner. Lorelai finds someone to vent to. JavaJunkie of course.


*****Second Chances*****

Lorelai arrived home, expecting to find Christopher there, sulking on the couch, contemplating where the best place was to put his beloved flat screen. She hadn't really believed that he was going back to work this late in the day. She was wrong. He was nowhere to be seen. His car didn't grace the driveway like she expected, and nothing had changed around the house since she had left earlier that afternoon - he hadn't come home.

She didn't want to be the wife who waited patiently at home for her seething husband to come home. She didn't want to be the one who took all the blame, grovelling for him to forgive her - she had nothing to apologize for. They had been married a matter of weeks, not years. Was it too much for her to want to just get used to the idea of being married, without adding a baby to the mix?

And this whole wedding party debacle? She had always thought that renewing vows was the height of tacky, so why would she consider doing it herself? Flaunting her new relationship in front of all her friends, who had invested so much into her previous relationship? Not very high on her list of priorities. She would rather they got used to having Christopher around bit by bit.

"Argh!" She threw her purse on the couch in a rage. Christopher, her mother, the wedding planner - nobody was listening to what she wanted. Nobody seemed to care. Nobody realized the turmoil which was raging in her mind, and had been ever since she said 'I do'. Well, technically, she had said 'Oui', but the sentiment was still the same.

She needed to get out and clear her head. She went into her desk drawer, and pulled an old piece of paper out, without looking at what was written on it. On the back, she scribbled _Chris, please call me when you get home - L._ She secured it to the kitchen table with a salt shaker, and left the house.

She wandered the town, forcing a smile for the townsfolk who called 'hello' to her as she passed. She thought about when she had done this with Christopher by her side, and how awkward she had felt that day. She recalled her disappointment at how cordial people had been towards the new couple, and the generic Welcome Wagon they had dragged home.

Lorelai collapsed on a bench in the park, and her head fell into her hands. How she had managed to screw everything up so royally, she had no idea. Sighing heavily, she lifted her head up, only to see Luke walking towards her, with a stroller which could only contain Doula. Both Luke and Lorelai hesitated for a second when they saw the other, but were determined to keep up the appearance of everything being fine.

"Hey," Luke called, as casually as he could muster.

Lorelai forced a small smile in his direction, and glanced down quickly to make sure that her left hand wasn't visible. "Hey back."

Luke took in her forlorn expression. "Uh... so... where's Christopher today?" He cringed at the thought of the little weasel.

Lorelai's face fell further at mention of her husband. She simply shrugged, and hung her head.

As much as Luke didn't want to hear about Chris, he couldn't bear to see Lorelai upset, so he forged carefully ahead. "You wanna talk about it? I hear that I'm a pretty good person to vent to."

She shook her head. How could she complain about her husband to someone who only six months ago had been her fiancé? It was too weird - almost as weird as Tom Cruise's life.

"Lorelai?" Luke persisted, hating the idea of her tormenting herself with nobody to talk to. The last time she did that, she had ended their relationship.

"I don't know where he is," she admitted. Luke took that as confirmation she wanted to talk, and sat next to her on the bench. He pulled Doula into his lap, hoping that she would act as a human shield between him and his ex.

"We had a fight -well several fights, I suppose."

Luke nodded, not wanting to interrupt her train of thought.

"Last night we fought because he wants to have more kids, and I didn't want to." The same image popped into both their heads. It was over a year ago, lying in bed, newly engaged, agreeing that 'kids would be good'.

Luke looked down at his sleeping niece, and recalled how he had imagined that she was his baby, just for a second. He couldn't understand why Lorelai would have changed her mind about having more kids, especially now she was actually married.

"I think I made a mistake," she whispered, admitting it for the first time to herself, as well as Luke.

Luke's head snapped up, his attention grabbed by her bold statement. "Yeah?..." he drawled.

Lorelai stared at the grass for several minutes, watching the way each strand swayed ever so gently in the breeze. "It just doesn't seem right. I feel like I'm fighting every step he wants to take, but I'm being steamrolled into agreeing - the wedding, his furniture, changing Rory's room into Gigi's room, this stupid party..." She sighed, and paused for a second before looking up into Luke's deep eyes. "I'm a newly-wed. Shouldn't I be ecstatically happy?"

Luke cringed at the word 'newly-wed', but composed himself quickly. He adjusted Doula in his lap nervously. "May I be frank?" Lorelai nodded slowly. "You don't seem happy at all. There's no spark in your eyes now. You don't seem like.... you."

Forgetting that she was trying to hide the ring from Luke, she pulled her hand out of her coat sleeve, and twirled her wedding ring around her finger. She pulled it off completely, and stared at the piece of jewellery lying in her palm. "I don't feel like me. I haven't since..." she broke off, not wanting to mention that fateful day, where she threw everything she had with her present company away.

Luke nodded his comprehension, and she was relieved that she didn't have to vocalize it.

"I'm sorry, Luke," she said ever so softly. "For everything."

"No, I'm.." Luke began, but she cut him off.

"Stop. No. I know, but I can't hear it right now."

A tune was heard coming from her purse. Her phone was playing 'Bootylicious'. Pulling it out, she read the caller ID, and sighed again. "Hi, Chris," she chirped, forcing her ring back on her finger. She closed her eyes, not wanting to be talking to Christopher and looking at Luke at the same time. "Yeah, I'll be home in five minutes."

By the time she hung up the phone, Luke had replaced Doula in her stroller, and was preparing to leave. "I should go," she told him. When they looked at each other, there was complete understanding in Luke's face, and dread in hers.

"Yeah, I should..." He indicated towards the diner.

Both hesitated, not wanting to leave, but knowing they should. There was just so much left unsaid. "Thanks for listening. Really." She was looking right into his eyes - the eyes she knew better than her own.

Luke slowly reached a hand out and touched her forearm. "Anytime," he said huskily, and it was filled with so much meaning it was overwhelming.

* * *

She opened the door quietly, and let herself in. She didn't know why she felt like an intruder in her own house, and right now, she didn't want to confront that feeling.

She took a deep breath before walking into the living room, where she was confronted by a disturbing sight. Christopher sat ramrod straight on the couch, a piece of paper in his hands. He didn't turn, or acknowledge her presence whatsoever.

"Hey," she squeaked. She sat down on the coffee table facing him.

It was the slowest Lorelai had ever seen him move. His eyes inch by inch travelled up her body until they settled on her face.

"I'm not stupid, Lor," he told her, his jaw set.

Lorelai's face crinkled into a frown. "You're anything but stupid. Why would I think that?"

He stayed silent, but thrust the piece of paper in his hands towards her. She took it from him as if it were a bomb.

"It's the note I wrote you earlier. What about it?"

Christopher glared at her, a look she had only seen on him a handful of times in the 25 years she had known him. "Turn it over," he barked, and she was taken aback at the tone he was using with her.

Her face softened when she saw what was written on the other side of the paper. It was the guest list she had made for her wedding to Luke. She had no idea how it had survived this long - especially since she had thought she had culled the house of anything remotely Luke-related immediately post-breakup. The list of people to share their special day filled the entire page, and was headed at the top by Lorelai's loopy writing exclaiming "_Luke and Lorelai's Wedding". _A cartoon heart adorned each corner.

"Chris... I didn't realize..."

"Of course you didn't," he snapped. "You never do."

"Chris..."

"No. You should know that I drove through town on the way home from work."

Lorelai frowned. "Huh. I didn't see you. You should have stopped." She kept her voice casual.

Christopher looked directly at her, holding her chin so she couldn't look away either. "Well, no. You didn't notice me. You were much too busy for that, weren't you?" The resentment in his voice was brimming over.

Lorelai jerked her chin away from his grip. "What are you saying," she asked innocently.

He pointed roughly at the paper. "You were practically inviting the whole world to that hicksville wedding to the bloody diner man, but you don't want to have a wedding to me at all!"

"That's not true!" she protested.

Christopher raised one eyebrow. "Isn't it?"

Lorelai tried to come up with something to defend herself, but her mind for once was a complete blank.

Christopher stood up. "I need some time to think. I'm taking Gigi to my mother's." He started towards the door, only to be halted by Lorelai encasing his arm in a death grip.

"No. Please, Chris. We can talk this out. You were right the night we got married. We ARE destined to be together. It just took us 22 years to finally work it out."

Chris shook her hand off, and pulled on his coat. "I'll call you."

"Please," she begged. "We can talk about this."

Christopher took a deep breath, and turned to face his wife. "Can we really? Because what I see is me being constantly compared to HIM. Not just by the town loonies, but you as well. I've tried to ignore it, Lor, but I know that look. The look when just for a second you're wishing that it was him you were married to, not me."

"No..." she protested weakly. "Chris?" But he was out the door.

Lorelai sunk into the couch, and saw in her minds' eye her marriage sinking faster than the Titanic. But this time, Leonardo wasn't here to distract her from the disaster which was happening all around her.

* * *

Lorelai gripped her shopping bag tightly as she exited Doose's. Inside was coffee, and icecream, and it was her lifeline. She felt determined to make it all the way home today without having to talk to any of the townsfolk. She didn't think she could hold up her facade of happiness today. Not after the awkward message she'd found on her machine when she got back from the inn.

_"Lor, it's me..... Chris. I know you're at work, and that's why I'm calling here. Listen... I've had a lot of time to think - five days of nothing but thinking, frankly. No matter how much I want this marriage to work, I may never convince you that it's right. I just... I really wish that you could love me like you love him. I can't see what we can do so that both of us are happy in this relationship. I guess I just waited too long to get my act together, huh? Well, Gigi and I are at my Mom's place until we can find a new apartment. I'll send movers to pick up my stuff on Monday. Um... can you tell Rory that I love her, and this doesn't change anything between us? Thanks. I'm so sorry, Lor. I really do love you."_

Lorelai focused her eyes on the sidewalk, and started her journey home. She didn't look up. She didn't want anyone to see her red swollen eyes - the tell-tale sign that she had ruined two relationships in a six month period. The mascara rings around her eyes definitely weren't her best feature right now, either.

Murphy would have been proud. Naturally, on the one day she didn't want to talk to anyone, she would run into the one person in the world who would be most demanding of answers. And when she says 'run into', she literally means 'run into'. She was turning the corner at the high school, looking at the pavement, and suddenly she was feeling squashed, looking at a green jacket, before falling to the ground, and looking at grey concrete.

Hands grabbed at her arm, attempting to stop her fall. "Lorelai!"

She closed her eyes, willing him away. When she looked up, she hoped to see nothing but grey sky - matching her mood. Instead, she found him hovering over her.

The look in his eyes changed from polite caring concern to shock as he took in her disheveled appearance. "Lorelai, what's wrong?"

She shook her head firmly, unwilling to admit to anyone - even Luke - what a failure she had become.

He took hold of her arms, and pulled her up into a standing position, and caught her when she toppled over again. The heel on her beautiful blue shoes had snapped during her fall. She pulled the shoe off her foot to examine it, and yelped when her bare foot touched the frozen ground. Luke grabbed the shoe from her and placed it back on her foot, lingering slightly with his hand on her ankle.

"We need to get you home," he instructed, pointing across the road to where his truck was parked.

"No. I can get there myself," she brushed him off.

He held her shoulders so she was looking directly at him. "Lorelai. I broke your heel. Let me take you home."

She took a deep breath before answering. "Okay," she whispered, and allowed him to act as her crutch as she limped to the truck.

They rode in silence, Lorelai looking out the passenger window unerringly. When Luke turned off the engine, neither moved for a second - a second which seemed like an eternity. When they snapped out of their reverie, Luke turned to her. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"Uh... we crashed into each other. You were there, weren't you?"

"Lorelai...." His voice was dripping with unveiled concern, making her drop the facade.

"He's gone." She wouldn't look up, wouldn't look in Luke's direction at all.

He placed his hand carefully on her knee, trying to be comforting without looking like he was coming on to her. "I'm so sorry."

Lorelai tried to act like it was no big deal. "Whatever. It was a mistake from the start right?"

"It's still a marriage ending. It still hurts, no matter how much of a mistake it was." Lorelai turned to look at him, and saw how much he really did understand exhibited in his eyes. Her defenses broke down, and she started to feel the tears running down her cheeks in hot streams. She cried for her failed marriage, and her failed engagement, and the two men who she had destroyed in the process. She tried to force out an apology, but her hiccuping sobbing wouldn't let her. In an instant, Luke was around the bonnet of the truck, and was taking her into his arms. She cried into his chest as he carried her into the house and up the stairs. He noticed the lack of Christmas paraphernalia in the normally holiday-laden house as he went. He placed her on her bed, covered her with the comforter, and knelt down beside the bed.

Lorelai watched him as he brushed her hair out of her face. "He knew. He left because he knew."

"He knew what?" he asked in hushed tones.

"He knew I was still in love with you," she admitted. "There was no room in my heart for him."

Luke was taken aback by this admission. "Uh... well.... oh! You know, you really shouldn't be alone on Christmas. Come over to my place. Liz and TJ are coming too."

"Oh... no... I don't want to impose." She sniffled, and wiped her eyes on her sleeve.

"No," Luke told her, stroking her hair again. "It's not a request. It's an order."

She managed to get a small giggle out. "Well, in that case. I'll come, but only if you come here on Christmas Eve to watch Holiday Inn with me."

"Deal," he chuckled, and placed a kiss on her forehead.

Touched by his affection, she placed a hand on his cheek, feeling the coarseness of his stubble under her fingertips. For just a moment it felt like none of the past six months had happened. They were still just Luke and Lorelai, and she forgot that she was married to someone else. Her breath was let out in a sigh of relief, and Luke contorted his face so he could kiss the hand that held his cheek so lovingly.

"You're married," Luke whispered, reminding them both of the situation they were in. He kissed the top of her head once more before rising to stand.

Lorelai smiled up at him. "Soon," she replied, not having to speak the rest of the sentence. By the look in their eyes, it was understood that one day soon she wouldn't be married, and when that time came.... they could have a blank slate.

Luke nodded his comprehension, a smile on his face.

"Thank you, Luke." It was thanks for so many things that she couldn't name them all. Him looking after her today was just the tip of the iceberg.

"I'll see you on Christmas day," he told her, not taking his eyes off hers.

"And Christmas Eve," she amended.

"And probably tomorrow for coffee," Luke added, a smirk on his face.

"Yeah. I'll see you all of those 'then's." They both smiled in recognition that this was how their relationship had started all those years ago. Luke glanced around her bedroom as he backed out the door -the room they had designed together - his heart full of hope. It might not be perfect, and it might be difficult, but they had a second chance. He could feel it, and knew she felt it too.


End file.
